


Journal

by astraplain



Series: Journal [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-06
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-25 00:36:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6173035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astraplain/pseuds/astraplain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam carried a journal when he traveled to Essex</p>
            </blockquote>





	Journal

Adam traveled light when he visited his parents in Essex. His old bedroom still held plenty of jeans and t-shirts and it was a point of pride that they still fit like they did when he was eighteen.

Not having to carry his wardrobe freed up space in his carryall for presents and his sisters weren’t shy about sending him hints in the weeks prior to his arrival. His parents never asked, but he always brought them new food items to try along with some old favorites.

Beyond toiletries and a crossword puzzle book, there was only one other item for himself in Adam’s bag. The journal was smaller than a paperback with a sapphire blue cover and an elastic loop to hold a pen.

Adam waited until the plane was in the air before opening the journal and placing it flat on the opened tray-table. He had the window seat but it was a cloudless blue sky and there was only so long he could stare at that before his mind started down paths he’d rather not travel.

The journal was three years old and nearly full. He’d been a NYADA senior then, and he’d fallen in love. Page after page of song lyrics in a rainbow of colors served as snapshots of that crazy wonderful time. He could no more discard it when the relationship ended than he could erase those precious, painful memories.

Time had eased the pain somewhat, and gifted him with some understanding. It was that understanding that had Adam bent over the little table now, black pen carefully outlining the colorful letters before filling in all of the white space.

The lines in the journal were narrow and Adam’s handwriting was small and tight from years of writing comments in book margins. It made his current task challenging, but he worked with precision and patience so that none of the words would be lost.

He’d returned to England the summer after graduation, wallowing longer than he should have over what had been lost. None of the increasingly direct hints from his parents had convinced him to return to New York. It had taken a series of weekends lost to drunkenness and a few meaningless hookups before he managed to turn himself around.

He found the journal when he was packing for New York and stayed up for thirty seven hours straight filling most of the remaining pages. When he unpacked in New York he left the journal in his carryall.

More than a year later, in the aftermath of a relationship that was barely more than acquaintances with occasional benefits, Adam bought a dozen black pens.

He’d been happily in love with Kurt, and Kurt had loved him in return. Adam didn’t doubt that for a moment. But there had been so much they didn’t know - about each other, about themselves. It was fine to write love songs in brightly colored ink, but the space between the words couldn’t be ignored.

It had taken the better part of a year, but as the plane started its descent, Adam capped the nearly-spent pen and closed the book. The final page was finished, the last of the white space filled in.

As soon as he landed Adam sent a single text to a number he hadn’t used in nearly three years: Returning to NYC in three weeks. Meet for coffee?

With the little journal secure in his carryall, Adam set off to find his family. He had three weeks to plan his second chance and he was going to make the most of it.

 

::end::


End file.
